Download Book ¸ The Defining Decade and how to make the most of them now ½ Johnscyclingdiary

Mobi The Defining Decade

Download Book ¸ The Defining Decade and how to make the most of them now ½ Johnscyclingdiary ê [PDF] ✩ The Defining Decade: Why your Twenties matter - and how to make the most of them now Author Meg Jay – Our thirty is the new twenty cultuThe The Defining PDF most defining decade of adulthoodDrawing from a decade of work with hundreds of twentysomething clients and students THE DEFINING DECADE weaves the latest science of the twentysomething years with behind closed doors stories from twentysomethings themselves The result is a provocative read that provides the tools necessary to ma I like the overall message of the book Your life even at your twenties means something so make the best of it I fully believe that people no matter what their age should not waste away their life by partying all the time and practicing bad habits Goofing off every now and then is perfectly fine but making a career out of it is pointless unless you get paid for it and you find it fulfilling Therefore this review may be a bit biasedWith the basic message out of the way I do think the audience is limited to people who have access to resources and opportunities mainly the middle class and upper class I think the same basic message is viable for all classes but people of lower classes who don't have access to internships or college may have a harder time connecting with Jay's clientsJay backs up all her claims with psychological research that most college students learn in basic psych While having Jay repeat the same information I've already learned is kinda boring it is interesting to see how she applies the research I've read a few reviews and comments on her articles and books and basically they complain that her book is too conservative and that she claiming causation instead or correlation I don't think she's that conservative or confusing causation with correlation She uses caution and subtle sentences in explaining the difference but that's how I would expect every psychologistpsychiatrist to react Her book centers on research and experience in her practice not on ideology or politics The major problems people have with her book are probably due to a limited researchexperience with those certain situations rather than her general principlesBy adding her clinical experiences she means to illustrate the research and her ideas in real life which works However some people may not realize that case studies are specific instances in which it works a certain way for one person Things may go differently for someone else That's why when reading her case studies of people you have to be careful to understand the general idea and not concentrate too much on the details I know that seems kind of backwards since a case study focuses on specific details and it's not valid to use generalizations from one case study to another but for the sake of understanding her argument I suggest you break that scientific rule and go with the flow She's using the case studies as examples and not scientific proofI do think that Jay did a better job on the work issues of her book and that's the section I find accessible than any other section However her other discussions of topics have validity especially the fertility subject Some people may not have kids so they can breeze over the section if they wish but I think she spends a lot of time talking about fertility is because it's something couples need to talk about if they want kids when they want them possible fertility problems I think it's important for every couple to talk about even if they don't want kids just in case birth control fails or an accident happens I also fully agree with her on being in good relationships all the time and not staying with someone who's a deadbeat Humans are creatures of habit and someone may get stuck in a bad cycle of relationships if he or she is not picky about whom he or she datesMy only real issue with the book is that it's too future oriented Yes it's important to plan for upcoming events but at the same time if you're not enjoying your life now or you're so stressed about the future you can't realize what's in front of you and something's not uite right I wish Jay would've spent a bit time talking about the past present and future but she didn't really connect them too much She sort of blames twentysomethings for being too present oriented which is funny 'cause I'm twenty and think she's too future oriented to the point where she forgets to tell people to enjoy their current situations I think her book would have a better tone if she said something along the lines of Hanging out is nice and it's important to treasure your friends but don't forget you still have future goals to achieve To achieve them you need to make sure you're taking steps in that direction earlier in your life rather than laterAnother issue I have with this book is saying how bad off thirtysomething and fortysomething people are They're not all bad off We can learn from older people's mistakes but I don't think they should be berated for choosing to do things later in life Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't However by using poor decisions of older people Jay is emphasizing her point that it's better to start planning when you're young which I kind of agree with She crosses a line sometimes when she speaks about her older clients I know she's trying to point out how later decisions affected them but at the same time it comes close to almost wagging her finger at them when they've already suffered enoughSometimes Jay's writing feels like a motherauntteacher who can just give you a look and you know you're doing something wrong I don't necessarily feel like it's condescending but it does make me wonder and ask uestions about my life Based on other psychology books I've read I know her advice is relative based on the situation but it's strong advice If you get anything out of the book I think it should be this Your life matters so make the most of it by taking deliberate actions earlier than later especially in the direction that you may want to go in Decisions need to be made because they do impact your future If you just let life happen to you it may not be all that funHer advice seems to go against what most people say nowadays such as You have time for that later Marriage and babies are for older people You're only 23 You don't need a serious relationship or career and so on However I really do believe that we need to put aside these sayings that give freedom to twentysomethings and instead use Jay's advice and give them responsibility for their lives I want responsibility so I'm shrugging off anyone who tells me I have time to wait I'm taking time by the horns and taking action in the direction I want

Epub ´ Why your Twenties matter õ Meg Jay

Our thirty is the new twenty culture Decade Why eBook #10003 tells us the twentysomething years don't matter Some say they are a second adolescence Others call them an emerging adulthood Dr Meg Jay a clinical psychologist argues that twentysomethings have been caught in a swirl of hype and misinformation much of which has trivialized what is actually I don't think this book would've resonated with me in my early 20's as it does now in my late 20's In my early 20's I was absolutely a go getter got a job immediately out of college was in a relationship with a man I thought I was going to marry and I thought babies would come in due time I had a 5 year plan and was on the fast track towards all of that by age 30 I would've scoffed at this book saying why would I need this type of advice when I have everything going for meAlong the way I got a couple new jobs which have opened up my eyes to the real world and got my heart broken for the first time and thats when I began to drift and lose my way I gave up timelines thinking that they would get screwed up anyways and decided to just live in the now Now at 28 I feel like I've just gotten my bearings again and I'm starting to re focus and figure out what it is I want and need now that the thirtysomething years are creeping towards me What struck me was how much I could identify with all her mini case studies As a fearless twentysomething I always thought I had time to figure out things later And later has now caught up with me and I find myself starting to feel anxious about the 3 topics she focuses on Work Love Body As I was reading the stories I realized how much I didn't want to be a thirtysomething and fortysomething playing catch up from my twenties I have a lot to think about now that I've finished the book But I'm excited because I'm now looking forward to finishing off my twenties with a bang

Meg Jay õ and how to make the most of them now Book

The Defining Decade Why your Twenties matter and how to make the most of them nowKe the most of your twenties and shows Defining Decade Why Kindle #216 us how work relationships personality social networks identity and even the brain can change during this decade than at any other time in adulthood if we use the time wisely THE DEFINING DECADE is a smart compassionate and constructive book about the years we cannot afford to miss Make your popcorn kids and gather round I read a self help bookSooonever read one of these before and I always assumed that the audience of self help books was composed largely of people who don't actually have what I think of as problems And by that I mean self help books are for people dealing with something that can be dealt with as opposed to something that can't The difference between 'I need to learn to be assertive' and 'my retina tore in half and it's inoperable' true story Because my assumption has always been that dealing with things that can be dealt with is a skill that results from all the shit you learn from the things that can't be dealt with This book did nothing to change my mind since it assumes the reader doesn't have problems as I conceive of them but instead is struggling with all that making way in the world stuff You know – money a vocation love And the idea is to like talk people through adulting Does this actually work on anybody Because I'm assuming it's a largely useless endeavor since all of my learning has been of the other variety The 'boy hospitals are uiet at 4 am' variety or the 'twiddly doo wish my STD tests would come back' variety true stories So I find it difficult to imagine that reading a book that tells you in vague terms how some anonymized case studies handled finding a career would actually help anybody But hey maybe I'm wrong I've learned a shit ton from books in my life; it's just all of those books were fiction and somehow that works so much better for meEither way this wasn't the book for me Its cookie cutter notions of what straight able bodied self doubting life looks like have very little to do with how my twenties went I mean my twenties were in retrospect fucking insane I crammed a massive amount of stuff into one decade and had yet crammed in on me And not to put too fine a point on it but actually you know what I rocked it I rolled that decade like a motherfucking cigarette and smoked it I got a couple degrees and was poor and was rich and fucked a bunch of people and read amazing books and found my person and said it's cancer okay coping initiated and wrote a million words of crap and a few words of not crap and lost my eye and lost my mind and clawed it back and earned my way into an amazing one in a million job and sang every day and walked away from my parents and learned and learned and learnedAnd I screwed stuff up All the time But this book seems entirely irrelevant to that Or to anything else I'm carrying right now What can it possibly tell me about yesterday's negative pregnancy test that I don't already know Though I guess it did crystalize for me that I have done okay And never having been asked to take stock like that before I suppose that's niceBut really Does this stuff actually help anybody